Danis

The first memory I have of my cousin Neddie (Glenna was my dad Ned's sister—lots of Neds and Glennas in the Collett/Vare clan), was in the driveway at our house in RI when I was about 6. He was grownup already and had shown up in the coolest sports car. An Alfa Romeo. He had a contagious grin and gave my sister Glenna and me each a ride around the block—with the roof down! That began my love of cousin Neddie—the first and only guy I ever loved for his car. And although our paths rarely crossed over the years, he was a bright and warm spot in my heart.

In the 70s I carried a green fringed suede shoulderbag with an exquisite beaded pattern on it that Neddie had made. A connection with my hippie cousin out west with vague stories of him living in a schoolbus or Aspen or a ranch.

In 1982, my groom, Wayne, and I took our honeymoon in Colorado, and one of our destinations was Colorado Springs where Neddie, Luz, and little Cassidy were living. Two moments stand out. We were going to walk down the street for pizza and Cassidy didn't want to wear shoes. Rather than just putting shoes on him despite the protest (as I would've been inclined to do), we observed a rational discussion between an adult and a 3-year old. Unheard of. It was concluded that he could walk barefoot to the restaurant, but had to put shoes on to go inside because the sign said so. Cassidy was fine with that and off we went—happily. We thoughtfully thought, Huh. And that event was an example we drew on in raising Ellie. And as with many other families, Ned, Luz and their book helped give us the courage and inspiration to homeschool.

The other moment was after we newlyweds (with one week's experience under our belt) regaled Ned and Luz on the wonders of marriage, Ned said, "We're going to get married when we've been together for 25 years. As a celebration." We thought, Huh? And I think that's about the way they did it. Tried and true.

Ned remains an image of warmth, honesty, creativity, incisive thinking in a freeform format, thought-provoking discussion, and many other things—a cantankerous ol' bat with bright blue eyes and a winning grin. Love you, Neddie.

Danie